Why I Work with Men
You might be asking yourself why this middle-aged white woman works with men. What could I possibly know about being a man?
Several years ago, I worked in a setting where I took the patients assigned to me, whether I had experience working with them or not. At that point, my experience was working with women and adolescents. When I learned I’d be seeing a man, initially, I didn’t know what to expect.
Men bring themes into sessions that show up differently for women. Men do not lack emotions. Many men's emotions lie below the surface and they engage in a delicate dance of intuiting how much to share, when, and to whom. Many men I’ve worked with recount memories of feeling shamed by loved ones for feeling and expressing emotions. These loved ones include parents, spouses, and other intimate figures in their lives.
Many people verbalize a wish to learn tools or coping skills. Through my training and practical experience working with a wide range of men and women, I’ve found there are more pieces to the puzzle. If only there were a tool (especially if it required a trip to Home Depot!) that could magically resolve everything.
My approach involves opening the hood and looking at what’s going on under there. It’s hard to resolve an issue when you don’t understand what it really is, how it comes up for you, or what you’re even feeling. I help patients become curious and gain an understanding about themselves. With my help, people begin to recognize patterns of how they participate in relationships or what upsets them and why it does.
In sessions, we talk deeply about your relationships, your work, the family you grew up in, and develop an understanding of what interferes in your ability to resolve issues. I encourage free association and discussion of your dreams, both of which can bring us closer to the deeper aspects of who you are.
My training and professional experience is rooted in psychoanalytic thinking, meaning that I will help you get acquainted with your unconscious mind. Lying on the couch during sessions is not required, but can be an option for our work together. Silence on my part can allow you the time and space to talk about what might come up, but I am also interactive and conversational when it is appropriate.
Why I Work with Infidelity
Working with infidelity was also something that happened seemingly by accident. In the same setting where I met the first of many men I have worked with, I realized that almost every patient had some sort of infidelity story. Whether they were unfaithful with their partners or they had been on the painful receiving end of it, I recognized the complexity of caring for clients in these situations.
For most patients I have worked with, sharing information about an affair is not something that comes easily. Keeping the secret and helping people manage their feelings around the secret is something I do not take lightly. It is also important to me that patients feel comfortable sharing with me. And that they understand that I am not here to shame them.
Just a quick note that I do not currently see couples. Couples therapy is a highly-skilled practice and I prefer to refer anyone needing this service to trusted professionals who specialize in couples.
In serving both men and clients experiencing infidelity, I have learned that I like helping people understand and make sense of seemingly impossible situations.
My Background
You also might want to know some information about my educational background so here it is:
Education:
- Master of Social Work, Rutgers University, New Brunswick, New Jersey - 2004
- Bachelor of Arts, Music, University of Massachusetts, Boston, Massachusetts - 1999
- Bachelor of Arts, Sociology, University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania - 1995
Licensure:
- New Jersey Licensed Clinical Social Worker since 2006
Continuing Education:
- Candidate in Adult Psychoanalysis program - New Jersey Institute for Training in Psychoanalysis - in progress
- New York Psychoanalytic Society & Institute - Fellowship/One-Year Program - Certificate of Completion, 2022
- Center for Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis of New Jersey - One Year Program - Certificate of Completion, 2022
- Postpartum Support International - Certificate of Completion in Perinatal Mood Disorders, 2016
Practice Info
I see clients both virtually and in-person in Montville, New Jersey. My license allows me to practice anywhere in the state of New Jersey so if you're not local, we can meet virtually.
Men aren't the only people I see. If anything you've seen here resonates with you, please reach out and we can see if we might be able to work together.
My practice is no longer in-network with any insurance companies. My fee for a 55-minute session is $200. If you would like to use your out-of-network benefits, we can discuss how to submit those claims.
If you don't know what I'm talking about when I say "out-of-network benefits", give your insurance company a call. I can also help you decipher the insurance company language that sometimes seems unnecessarily confusing.
Call me at 201-248-5552 or email me at cmgsnyder@gmail.com to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.