Finding out that your partner has been with someone else threw you into a tailspin. This is one of the biggest shocks of your life. Whether you feel blindsided or you suspected something was off, you feel all over the place.
What you are going through can hardly be put into words. You are shocked. Devastated. Confused. Angry.
Few topics are harder to talk about than infidelity. Getting support from friends or family could be difficult. Maybe you feel shame because this happened to you and you don’t want to let anyone else in. You feel anger and judgment toward your partner. You might even be angry with yourself for not seeing it coming. This also takes a toll on your self-worth and you question yourself.
What you don’t need right now is judgment. Especially from someone who can help you.
Infidelity is a far-reaching issue and affects us in so many different ways. In my practice, I work with clients who undergo the pain of a partner seeing someone else as well as the person who leaves the relationship to be with someone else.
(If you are in a relationship with someone other than your primary partner, please click here.)
The juggling of so many emotional states has caused you to look for a therapist. You are adjusting to the shock of a discovery and find that your anxiety and panic comes to the surface easily. You cry at unpredictable times. Your sleep is affected and your appetite is not typical for you.
It is hard to cope with your emotions as well as keeping all of the plates spinning. Your career does not stop because this is happening. Nor does your need to care for your children, if you are a parent. There is never a good time in your life to feel this way.
My clients found that at first, they wanted to be heard. They wanted me to know their story and have the attention from someone who will not judge them or their partner. Once the initial shock has passed, clients begin to see the situation more objectively. If decisions need to be made about the course of their relationship, eventually, they consider their options.
You are dealing with loss as a result of learning about your partner. You are struggling to figure out who you are now that this has happened. The person you thought you were – and the person you thought your partner was – has changed. Therapy can help you begin to manage the many emotions you are experiencing right now.
My physical office is located in Livingston, New Jersey. Currently, I see clients by way of a secure, online platform which allows me to work with clients anywhere in the state. If you are considering working with me, please email me at email@example.com for a free 15-minute phone or video consultation.