Finding out that your partner has been with someone else threw you into a tailspin.
This is one of the biggest shocks of your life. What you are going through can hardly be put into words. You are shocked. Devastated. Confused. Angry.
You might find it hard to get support from friends or family. You feel shame because this happened to you and you don’t want to let anyone else in. You feel anger and judgment toward your partner. You might be angry with yourself for not seeing it coming. This also takes a toll on your self-worth and you question yourself.
In my practice, I work with clients who undergo the pain of their partner being with someone else as well as the person who leaves the relationship to be with someone else.
(If you are in a relationship with someone other than your primary partner, please click here.)
It is hard to cope with your emotions as well as keeping all of the plates spinning. You find that anxiety and panic comes to the surface easily. You cry at unpredictable times. Your sleep is affected and your appetite has changed. If one more person tells you to read this book, or listen to this podcast, you’re going to snap.
Along with managing your emotions, your career does not stop because this is happening. Nor does your need to care for your children, if you are a parent. There is never a good time in your life to feel this way.
My clients found that at first, they wanted to be heard. They wanted me to know their story and have the attention from someone who will not judge them or their partner. Once the initial shock has passed, clients begin to see the situation more objectively. If decisions need to be made about the course of their relationship, eventually, they consider their options.
It might be difficult to comprehend when you are experiencing this pain, but healing can occur. The possibility of peace in your life exists and you will again find enjoyment. This experience does not define who you are.
My physical office is located in Livingston, New Jersey. Currently, I see clients virtually, by way of a secure, online platform that allows me to work with clients anywhere in New Jersey. If you are considering working with me, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for a free 15-minute phone or video consultation. I prefer to work with clients individually; if you need a referral for couples counseling, I can help you locate a provider.